In my body lies the memory of all my lifetimes or lifetimes that make sense to me at this point, Akashik records comes to mind. They are exhausting. Not many people can hold that much information in their consciousness and stay sane.
I remember what it felt like to be in a circle of women shamans who sat together around a fire in a cave, dressed in homespun clothes, hair wild, uncombed, feathers tied in it, sparkling eyes.
Because time is an illusion and my mind has gotten used to it being an illusion, I can peer behind the veil of 3D time and have that experience in my current lifetime. And they can access this one through me. They asked me endless questions and love the concept of airplanes.
I turned to that circle of woman for consolation. My experience of fully owning my anger is owed to them because they sat around me and chanted ‘you are angry’ over and over again until I admitted to being so. Then they said ‘I am sorry’ over and over again until I was free of it.
I use tobacco to access that circle, tobacco smoke makes a path to timelessness.
I am present to this reality and to that reality at the same time right now.
I am releasing the pain of being a woman in patriarchy because it’s “time”. I have done that by accessing the pain body in my abdomen and asking myself when was the first time I felt this way? Immediately, the memory of hiding from soldiers wearing steel while they ravaged our cart and hearing them having destroyed my home village. I was not with my family because I was chosen to be a priestess at The Springs of She.
These women were my teachers. If the description of Springs of She, villages and soldiers wearing iron doesn’t give you an idea of how long ago that was, let me tell you it was 10,000 years. 26,000 years are galactic cycles of human evolution so I arrived about halfway through. Yes, there are people who arrived at the very beginning, Atlantean – wait, I have memory of Atlantean times but it lies outside the scope of this essay.
This essay is about pain we hold in our bodies as women at every single time we have been raped, ravaged, abused, driven down, executed, burned at the stake, persecuted, isolated, imprisoned for being powerful. Every heartbreak we felt at our men being killed.
Before you go on blaming men, let me tell you they they wouldn’t have been able to pull this one off without our full participation. It was what we agreed it to be.
I bet all of us could use a circle right now.
The circle is formed of women sitting together having one in its middle. Presence is established among each participant. A field of complete openness and acceptance is set. The feeling you don’t want to address alone is brought into the circle. It is expressed in a simple admittance to the truth: “I am …” That truth is repeated over and over aloud by each member of the circle except the one in the middle.
“She is…” is chanted in a completely accepting and neutral tone.
We accept what is, fully, until it is released.
“I am sorry” is important to be said after the feeling is admitted to, not because it was the women’s fault whatever caused you to feel this way but as an expression of compassion.
I am sorry you are feeling this way right now, it implies. I am sorry that it is so uncomfortable, it implies. I am sorry that you are going through this, it implies. I am sorry that it gets to be too much to handle sometimes, it implies. I am sorry that you are breaking open in such a way, it implies. I am sorry.
So what do we do with this? What do we do about our human history? Akashik records are like blockchain, can’t be modified. Permanent true record of what happened as humanity went through its evolution from cave dweller to flying cars.
Let me mess around with your mind a little, consider it brain training to keep it young and supple.
I said evolution from cave dweller to flying cars. I also said time is an illusion. See the paradox?
At different levels of consciousness both realities are true.
It is true that time exists and doesn’t exist at the same time. Evolution and non evolution are both true.
Pain is real in your body when you consider evolution. Outside time, there is no pain. Pain doesn’t exist outside time. Pain served us to forget how connected we are to each other.
As we remember, pain disappears.