This is a coming out story.
I’m a man-woman. I do not want to give birth to a human being, my body is not designed for easy and painless delivery and doesn’t really want to go through the experience of childbirth. I know of other lesbian women who do and that gives me tickles. 🙂
I have a mind that I used to live a woman- woman life and while efficient, it made me miserable. I felt like I was living someone else’s life in my body.
Course correction can look a lot like devastation. But , your true nature will claim what’s yours no matter what you think of yourself.
Or how much you believe things or you should be.
What’s not the Way soon dies – I’m into Lao Tzu these days! It describes it perfectly – what’s not true to your original nature dies. It hurts. It’s uncomfortable. And you just KNOW it’s not it.
The journey to knowing is like looking at your life witnessing its unfolding like a human being similar to plants growing from seed but different because we’re mammals 🙂 I always know how to grow to the next step!
Some things I was born knowing. Others come to me on a need to know basis. And there’s no right way. No normal way. There is only your way. What feels good to you.
I was born into abundance and goodness for all! I was born knowing it is here. And I did not give up this knowledge no matter how hard “reality” tried to convince me otherwise!
What my experience taught me is that the pain we feel, the fear we experience is our yearning to live the fullness of life but we are so entrenched in believing the pain and fear, we forgot to look for easier options to accomplish anything.
I had forgotten too and what do you know! My Way companion, Lori Thomas struggled with struggle 😉 and found me in pain and gave me her solution!
You always receive exactly what you need to unfold! Almost immediately. Almost because we still live in physical reality and we need ‘time’ to live it. Time is a tool, like gravity.
Anyway, Lori Thomas.
Powerful. She is a powerful woman and becoming more powerful by the second. Definitely worth knowing and loving! What an unfolding, her journey! Magnificent to behold. 🙂
My identity has been shaped by adults in my life because I had forgotten who I was, I did this thing where I mimic them to belong.
As I admit to having a man part within me, I can look at the men I know and learn how to be a good one.
But it’s still has to come from me. Men’s spiritual journey that I feel best about is into the heart.
Other men of power helped me as well. Rama. Matt Kahn. Carl Rodriguez. All my male employees! My male bosses. Men in my life that I learned how to balance my inner man from. It was very unbalanced and under developed, poor thing!
I’m feeling like a 13 year old boy these days before hitting puberty and let me tell you I have learned some really bad habits when it comes to dealing with women.
Being in a woman’s body, a woman in part, makes it even more confusing.
Fortunately, I feel loved and that allows my natural innocence to blossom. Sexual energy is so twisted by my inner male feeling of inadequacy and sadness at not being seen as inherently good. I don’t see men as inherently good so my inner man acts out in pain from such a harsh judgement.
For that, I forgive myself. I am inherently good. Men are inherently good.
The woman in me is learning to be worthy of her ease. The man in me is learning to be vulnerable from his heart. Together, they are blooming in their innocence! Shedding tears of forgiveness and longing to finally come to balance satisfied.
Learning from all the lessons of imbalance. Grateful for the light of god guiding gently away from illusion into fullness of love, eternal.
All is forgiven, all is forgotten. All is forgiven, all is forgotten. All is forgiven, all is forgotten. Home is here.
You never left home. Breathe. Receive. Heaven is our home.
How do I know?
I’m living it.