Steps to paradise on earth. Intent.

I’m grateful that I have a roof over my head because having a roof over my head allows me to focus on doing things I love instead of having to find a place of shelter every night, like so many people do.

I’m grateful that I know where to buy food and money to buy it with, for it allows me to nourish my body while enjoying the texture of each ingredient cooked to perfection.

I’m grateful we’re becoming more politically empowered because it allows us to truly see the system we’re all part of and begin a dialogue detailing exactly what kind of life we want to lead as 7000000000 of us sleep eat and work.

Big questions. Lots of answers.

I’m grateful I get to have the choice to even consider that what I want is possible and thus accomplish it.

I want to live in paradise the kind where you don’t have to die to go to, or sacrifice for, or consider yourself or anyone else unworthy of it.

It all starts with a dream. A story. A beginning.

I intend to live in paradise on earth.

There’s peace in that as everything that’s not it falls away. I insist. I won’t take no for an answer and instead consider it as not yet for some. Those who don’t share my vision and instead argue why it isn’t possible- not yet for them; not everyone is born to lead and that’s ok.

As I take up my space with others on the same path, it creates a field, a gate for all to enter if they wish .

There is no rush.

Love is not an emergency. It is.


True wealth

I am moving for the first time in years, to a building composed of cheap materials, built from social benefits budget assigned to a contractor whose bid is low cost. It’s not pretty, it’s functional, like a person deciding in her logical mind a functional building should look like; easy access to stairs, double security on gates, bright industrial bulbs lighting up the passageways that get turned on at sundown and turned off at dawn.

My possessions are plenty, they no longer fit into seven suitcases, I need four boxes for bits and bobs I think are important to my life. Five plants in pots of various sizes, and a few large garbage bags with more things get transferred from van to pavement to security heavy door. Moving is the third most stressful part of life after bereavement and divorce. I read about that in an article, years ago.

People of colour, robe wearing, veil wearing; people of ages, teens and elderly all ask me if I need help.

In the chaos that is my life, every question of, do you need help, is like a bright voice of kindnesses echoing in my heart, etched in memory, never forgotten. More precious simply because it’s so unexpected. Here is someone going about their day in a city that seems cold and consumerist and liberal capitalist; a country having voted for Brexit, newspaper headlines filled with stabbings, scandals and outrage, asking a stranger if she needs help moving in.

A welcome such as this I’ve never had.

I’ve moved again and this time it’s a house set in a busy road in one of London’s extensive suburbs. I am sitting on the porch, watching the sky. My neighbour from across the fence is mending a fire in a barbecue oven made from a recycled oil barrel. I used to know the price of oil per barrel and it used to be 120$ down to 35$ in the course of a year. The consequences of this fall resulted in a few companies going bankrupt in the United States but I am in the United Kingdom and this man, a husband and father to a bright child of two is asking me to join them for a barbecue later in the day. Bring your friends, he says. He is from Brazil, works as a gardener and his friends are from Iran and Argentina, hosting family members who moved to the UK from Spain, having given up on finding a job. The woman has a teenage son who intently listens to my advice to study hard, get into computer science on a scholarship as a path to a bright future. I am keenly aware of how important this information is for him, his mother is looking for a room to rent for both of them, having found a job in cleaning. Argentina is facing a food shortage, I know this from the news. She thanks me for showing her spare room dot co dot uk and it’s just a small dent in what in a just world would be a full welcome package for any person escaping poverty coming to a safe place. They share Irish beef barbecued to perfection, juicy and flavourful with me. I am in awe of their generosity and how they accept me into their circle asking if the special corn dish made of corn cakes stuffed with cheese and meat, wrapped in corn leafs is to my liking. The food nourishes me on levels beyond the physical. I say goodbye too soon.

There is so much kindness in the world. We are all so different but that doesn’t stop us from asking if someone needs help moving or would like to join our barbecue. Our lives feel richer with these experiences because in those moments we treat each other as family. Extensive, weird, upside down, each with their own secretly carried pain trying to find that bright spot of love inside or out and when we do find love, that is, kindness, it changes us. It makes us so much more than we thought we were. It makes us human. It makes us belong to one another as we are, accepted, embraced, fed, housed. What if, I ask. What if this is the new normal? Can tomorrow be the day we all have our needs met? Can we turn to one another and offer help, food, home, love, kindness? What would that feel like to you?

I have money but I’m rich in people. My wealth is measured by connections kindness support and love. There are more examples so subscribe to receive my point of view on true wealth. I believe it’s new.

Have a lovely day. May you be blessed.


I have spoken words for love


I have spoken words for love,

I have bled those words from my entrails to paint myself anew after each encounter

with love.

I have known it to be eternal;

none of that getting over it nonsense works for the real deal,

only an understanding that this love’s lessons are done so I can get on to the next level of unravelling.

What do I unravel into?

Who cares?

I am indestructible.

Even when disintegrated into a million pieces.

In the journey to becoming love I generate a field that translates into a life that takes my breath away.

And thus I love again.


How to love fear

From: “Or you can watch TV shows all day” an existential crisis/business success novel


Fear, as it turns out, is one of the templates that were gifted to humanity in order to experience duality. 

It has, unfortunately or fortunately, depends how you look at it, become the dominant template through which we run our lives. 

I’m currently using the same strategy on it as I used to deal with my pain and desire to die. 

The strategy in question is to love it. 

I promised myself two days ago that I would not abandon myself in my pain, just like everyone else seems to abandon theirs. 

I am not going to get on with it, get over it, pick myself up by the bootstraps, process it away, choose joy, choose something else. 

I have, in fact, nothing better to do with my life than love myself in my deepest pain, no matter how long it takes, no matter how many bills need to get paid, no matter how many promises I have to keep, no matter how many commitments I have to cancel. 

Because it’s me. I’m all I’ve got. And this me is in pain. To think I can have better things to do than to be present with this pain, love this pain because it’s part of who I am is to commit unspeakable cruelty.

Fast forward a few weeks and the pain is gone leaving in its wake a sense of inner shimmering light and capacity for joy beyond description. A capacity for intimacy, vulnerability and presence with others. Was it worth spending all that time loving my pain? 

You tell me. 

This is meant to encourage you to sit with yourself and love yourself, no matter what. 

Everyone is different. Every journey to awakening different. I deal with my not wanting to be enlightened in Chapter 3. 

I don’t want my divinity to be exclusive of anyone. I don’t think “the chosen ones” will go to heaven and the rest of us will be stuck living out our karmas. I don’t think it’s right to bait people into spirituality by the same clickbait the Net uses to take their money. 

I have seen infinity and it’s endless, not constrained to any corner of consciousness. 

This high vibration exclusive club where only those who can maintain it stay is bullshit. 

There’s a reason Jesus hung out with thieves and whores. 

Spirituality doesn’t need to be any way. There is no normal way. There is no wrong way. 

Fast forward a few months and I am glad to see Teal Swan talk about this in more detail in her video on Spirituality 2.0. 

Here’s a bitter pill for you – like the red one in The Matrix. 

Doubt. Doubt points to what? Fear. Fear of what? Getting something you don’t want to experience. What does it matter? Why does it matter to you so much to experience only what you want to experience? Don’t you see that the clinging to the illusion of control makes you so weak and powerless? Don’t you see there is no way to control life, any of it? Any of what happens to you? 

You can control your thoughts, you think. By inviting only the ones that are good for you and feel good. Yeah, but that’s the first step for babies when they learn how to walk. 


Adults don’t give a shit of what their thoughts are, adults exist in love at all times and every thought and emotion and feeling that arises is met with the same unconditional love and kindness as the one before. It is irrelevant if you feel good or you feel shitty, you exist in love because you know you are love and everything else is decoration against that backdrop. 

That’s what adulthood is. 

Preference is for children. Seeking is for children. Wanting is for children. Suffering is for children. 

Fear. Loving your fear gives you power. Love your fear. The more you love your fear, the more powerful you are. 

Anger. Pissed off irritation. Loving it gives you power. Love your anger and irritation. See how powerful you are. 

Insecurity. Loving insecurity makes you giggle in your belly like a tickled baby. See how powerful love is. 

Resistance. Loving resistance makes you scream with delight, like you’re dropping down on a roller coaster hanging on to the railing for dear life screaming, knowing you are safe. And the gravity is always here to catch you. Engineers smarter than you designed the roller coaster and they know exactly how to give you the height of pleasure. 

Too much. Loving the feeling of too much gives you access to giddy heart excitement where you can barely breathe with amazement at what you are behold ing. 

Excitement about loving your feelings gives access to curiosity. Loving your Curiosity leads to seeing yourself as a beloved child on the planes of existence who is spoiled and indulged and protected and given every delight imaginable just so it can experience it all. IT ALL. > ALL OF LIFE> 

The more you surrender to loving everything you are, everything that happens to you, the more freed you are from your own limitations. 

Be free please. I can’t wait to spoil you, God says. 

That was two weeks ago. You’d think I’d practice this more assiduously. 

Source just throws new characters my way to see how well I learned the lesson. 

Today I am dealing with fear, insecurity, lack, arrogance and worthlessness, and disbelief. 

It’s taking me a while to get used to goodness. 

Fear is the dominant vibration. It’s like an encasing, like a tight suit of armour, limiting movement. 

The parts of me that are released from this suit feel scabbed, sore. Frozen without the encasing. Like when people/animals used to be screamed at freeze even at the most loving touch.

Even if there’s nothing threatening them. 

Fear is also a conditioning. It’s a conditioning that goes into your emotional body, your cells. 

It’s a conditioning you can love yourself out of. 

Haters want love. They want love because they don’t get love. And by get I mean understand. 

Understanding love means loving your haters. Your haters. Your enemies. Those who cause you pain. 

Loving them means you are indestructible because no matter what they do, there is so much love within you that you respond to every insult with a blessing. 

Greed. Greed is lack of love. Let me explain it in detail so you may understand it. 

Greed is a want that points to a hole within your being bottomless pit of despair that it is. Despair at never ever in a million lives having enough loveeee. 

See it within you? The despair? The clinging to everything you can get, the need to get fucked, the need to do anything but face that bottomless pit of lack? Lack meaning absence of love? 

When you love that pit within you, you realise it leads you where? 


Everything you experience, every emotion leads only in one direction and that direction is love. 

Here’s the fucked up thing. You never exist out of love, you just think you do because that’s the game. 

That’s the game of remembering. I am going to be human, you say. I am going to experience all the crap that the current humanity experiences in their forgetting who they are and I am going to do that because I know that it will lead to love. I know I never exist out of a field of love and experiencing its absence, any way shape or form of absence of love will only make me see that it’s an illusion and I am always love, whole, and free. 

The human condition is not that of suffering. 

The human condition is of love, wholeness, and freedom and the only thing that makes us suffer is forgetting that truth. 

Mic drop. 

I’m done. 

You have the ultimate power. That of love. 

Remember who you are. 


How to love

So you have reached a point where life’s magic pulls you towards something greater than you have been taught to believe. 

This pull comes straight from your heart and asks you to believe that there’s more to you. 

Believing that there’s more to you sustains and maintains a sense of childlike wonder and innocence that you may or may not recover immediately. 

Some people may call it naive and tell you to get back to earth where life is hard and full of struggle and miracles are few and far between, reserved for only the special ones. 

What if I told you that you are a walking miracle? Would you believe me? 

That smile that spreads across your face filled with the joy of a heart that’s being recognised for what it is – that’s your indication. 

The anger and frustration is just your mind telling you I’m up to something tricky because there is change happening already. 

Simply because you decided to find out what it’s like to love. 

The minute you decide to find out, everything around you conspires to give you an answer, show you in a million different ways how to get to the truth of love.  

It’s a journey worth taking. 

Please subscribe to this blog to take it with me. 

Good to meet you.